I’m uncovering that the only answers to life’s questions come from within ourselves.
There are plenty of experts who’s research leads us many different ways. It seems the best advice is to go inward and get in touch with your self. One must pick a path and follow it through because the best way I’ve found to learn and answer questions is through experience. We are all different in some aspect with different needs and abilities. Therefore I’ve come to the conclusion that we should be the only expert when it comes to our own lives or well being.
How does one find the words to express what they feel in their heart? For me it is following the overwhelm of emotion and gratitude. That feeling of tingling in my chest. Watering of my eyes. My voice changes and I have to pause to acknowledge and articulate what I am feeling and about to say. It is a beautiful feeling which I have ignored for so long. I dismissed it as being too sensitive. I’ve dismissed it in others as it made me uncomfortable. Now I follow that feeling. I long for that feeling. It is my north star guiding me through life’s choices. When I wrote what I’m going to share in my next post I did not realize how it would impact my life and shape my perspective. It flowed through my heart and everytime I read it I feel that tingle. I wrote it during what I perceived as divisiveness within our world over covid. Now as another world wide issue is being brought to light I can not help but to share. Black lives absolutely matter and I hope in my lifetime we get to a point where all lives matter. Even the ones we deem to be not of value or unimportant. I am curious of how we got to this point of constantly “cancelling” people for their view or what they say. I am curious how we got to the point where we cause physical harm to one another in reaction to words said or things/property being damaged. I am choosing to lead with curiosity to better understand because when I personally lead with my judgements or view it immediately closes the door to anything someone else is saying or feeling. Honestly there is so much I do not know or understand as I only have my life experiences to lead me. That is why I am committed to create conversations around uncovering what we do not know no matter how challenging or how I personally feel. I believe the power to move forward lies in the unknown. Moving forward doesn’t mean we forget or brush this under the rug as most of us have done for so long. To me it means we keep our hearts open and we keep communicating. We are all a product of our life experiences. Those experiences shape our view of the world. So I invite you. No matter where you stand. No matter what color your skin is. To pause and feel it all. The pain, the anger, the fear. Whatever you are feeling is valid and I acknowledge you. I don’t know if there are answers or a solution to so much and a lifetime of bias and hate. Like anything it is going to take constant work and life long conversation to remain open and aware so we don’t go back to our collective mistakes of the past. What I do know is that no one deserves to die because of who they are or who we perceive them to be.
We all seem to be going around in an infinite circle placing blame on each other for various things that we disagree on. I am trying on the idea that there are no facts, only our perspective based on our unique experiences and views. Just as I don’t want my rights taken away or things forced upon me during this covid era. I believe people and companies should have the freedom to put out whatever products they want and it is up to the consumer to choose. As hard as it is to know ingredients may be unhealthy and animals are being slaughtered it is simply my perspective that those things are wrong. My perspective is not a fact. I repeat… my perspective is not a fact. There are unlimited examples of this I could explore as everything I see and do is filtered through my unique perspective. Time to flip the script and consider the alternative perspective of others as they are their truths and valid no matter how uncomfortable. I really really really find that challenging but I also find it creates more mental freedom and peace. I switch the judging/anger to curiosity/understanding which allows for empathy and acknowledgement. I believe that getting angry and making people wrong only pushes us all deeper, blindly into our own perspective/truth. In my mind life is not just black and white. It is far more complex than we wish to know. Right and wrong feel like a simple solution to the majority of “problems” we see in the world. I invite you to consider the complications that adds to everyday life. Try on others perspectives to see how that feels. Maybe see how it feels to get in touch with your truth and the truth of those around you.
I don’t think we will ever know if our response as a society was too much. I’m one to always proceed with caution. You know.. better safe than sorry. But this all just feels a bit much when you start to dig in. You hear reports of nurses being furloughed and hospitals emptying among other things. It’s hard to find the actual truth or facts these days if it even exists. It all seems to be a lot of opinion and personal perspective. My personal perspective leads me down this road. Look at the preventable deaths in this country each year. I’m not saying we shouldn’t take precautions with covid or that it’s not real. I’m just saying we may have overreacted and the staggering amount of preventable deaths from lifestyle/diet, accidental or suicide deserve some thought and more attention at the very least. Not to mention the mental toll this “social distancing” and “quarantine” will have. I don’t fear a virus. I fear us losing our freedom, ourselves and what matters most… our connection as humans and to the world around us. Life has risks, ups and downs and some roller coasters of emotions. But it was meant to be lived in full connection with love for each other and all forms of life. Step out of fear and face the present one moment at a time. It’s time to move forward.
What are we doing as people? Are we really listening to those around us? Do we even truly see someone who is right in front of us? Are things really what they seem? Work, social media, possessions and looking good among other things have consumed many of our lives. Maybe not 24/7 for some but I have felt, lived and observed our lives consumed by so many things portrayed/perceived as so important. In my perfect world there would be nothing more important than the person or people around you. And I’m not just talking about family. I’m talking about your neighbor. The person in line in front of you. Anyone who crosses your path. But again that’s my perfect world which I don’t always live in personally. I’ve caught myself rushing to work and seeing someone on the side of the road obviously needing help. But I don’t stop. I continue on with my day as if my being on time for work or whatever I’m doing is more important than simply taking the time to help or maybe just check on another human being. This used to make me angry. Now I just feel sad. In some aspects the disconnect grows and grows. Other times I’m truly amazed by the consecutiveness surrounding me. It’s not my place to judge or dictate how ones life is lived. But I do feel it is all of our duties as human beings to question ourselves as well as others. To really take stock of what’s going on within and around us. A sense of awareness coupled with connection. Life is a beautiful thing and we all get to choose what makes it beautiful. I invite us all to choose willingly, considerately and knowingly.
Below is something I wrote to my daughter before she was born. It felt strange writing it at first, but looking back I’m glad I did it. Even years ago while exploring my spiritual side I would talk to her and dream of her. It’s like she was waiting for her turn in life and had already chosen us as parents. We just needed to choose each other. The more I dive into my spirituality and honestly just life as I feel being here is a spiritual experience. The more I embrace the unknown. To me spirituality requires a lot of trust and letting go in the face of the unknown. Believing in something bigger and more powerful than ourselves. For me the word I use is Universe. I believe everything and everyone is connected creating a universal power within us all and everything around us.
Where do I begin…
I’ve always dreamt of having a little girl.
I feel like I have been waiting for you my whole life.
I knew the moment your mother and I connected she was something special.
Little did I know she would be the one to make all my dreams come true.
From the moment we started dating it felt like I had known her forever.
Even when times were tough,
something inside me knew she was the one I would love forever.
The best choice I have ever made will always be loving your mother.
I know in my heart that you will love her as much as I do. Maybe more.
If there is one thing you should know,
It is that as my heart continues to grow there is enough love for both of you.
I am excited to meet you and I will always be there whenever you both need me.
I have always wondered what my life’s purpose was. Now I know it is enjoying every moment I have with you and your mom.
Without women nothing in this world would be possible or as beautiful. The strength, compassion, love and overall drive is something I have continually experienced from the women I have been so fortunate to have in my life. You are literally creators of life among so many other things. So much power and intuition packed into a human. If you ever feel undervalued or if you are ever treated that way. I want you to know you are so much more. Your value is truly unmeasurable. I take comfort in seeing the changes and progress being made for equality and value in all human beings. It gives me a great sense of hope that my daughter, our children and everyone will have the opportunity to live in this world as one. Coexisting in harmony without the unneeded hate or judgements. But for today cheers to all the amazing women out there and to all the women in my life you are appreciated and loved. Big shout out to my wife for inspiring me daily and holding me to a higher standard of being. You always rock mine and Charlotte’s world as a mama.😘 #internationalwomensday
It’s interesting to me how we grow to love people but with our children it’s instant. There isn’t a honeymoon phase or first impression. Just pure and utter love. There is something beautiful about it. It makes me think about love in my life. Whether it’s giving or receiving. I’ve always had a hard time telling people I loved them. It did not mean I did not, it was just uncomfortable for me to get the words out. But like anything the more you do it the easier it gets. Now I make sure to tell people I love them. I feel this unconditional instant love I felt for Charlotte has unlocked something inside me that was always there. It allowed me to be clear on what love is to me and where love is in my life. Which brings me back to… there is something beautiful about it.
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” ~Albert Schweitzer
When you are positive about everything in your life, something magical happens. Everything good seems to effortlessly flow your way, your desires effortless manifest, and people just love hanging around you. People in your presence smile and laugh more, which makes you feel even better inside about being alive. Being positive is more important than you think. It’s the foundation of your very survival. If you could only think a stream of negative thoughts for the next few weeks, you might start believing suicide is the only viable option. Once you learn how to find the good within the bad, you’ll easily manifest a continual flow of success wherever you go.
Life contains both polarities of nature, the deep and dark as well as the light bright, and everything between the two. The dark always contains the light, and the light always contains the dark. Just like the eastern Yin-Yang symbol. They co-exist as complementary energies that cannot exist separately. This melting light/dark energy is found in the fabric and matrix of every atom in our Universe. When you remember this, you’ll know that somewhere inside the negative you can find a seed of something positive. You just have to get out your microscope and look more closely at the situation with a creative mind and an open heart.
The greatest advice I’ve ever received for being unstoppably positive about life is the thought that “anything is possible”. This one little concept has allowed my mind to continuously open, even after it became momentarily closed. Believe it or not, it is possible to be positive about everything that happens to you in life. There is always something to be learned from each situation, person and circumstance no matter how challenging it may be. Being consistently positive is simply a choice that you make in each moment. It’s a creative choice where you decide that you are 100% devoted to finding some possible way to enjoy this experience. Finding positivity in everything stems FROM believing in the impossible. You start realizing that you’re living in an infinite Universe that has no boundary to it, thus there is no boundary to your mind or imagination. How would you view your life differently this week if you knew without a doubt that anything and everything was possible?