Time

We spent a few days up at the beautiful Lake Arrowhead, CA with some family. Even on vacation in an amazing place I find myself worrying about the past and the future. Not being present enjoying the gorgeous scenery and the time with my family. I don’t know about you, but I usually seem to get distracted and caught up in my thoughts about work, stuff I need to do or just silly unnecessary baloney. It really takes a pep talk with myself to snap out of it and realize that this moment right now is what I need to be focused on. The work. The stuff. The baloney. It will all be there waiting for me. Dwelling on them does nothing but create anxiety and an absence from the moments happening now. One thing I’ve noticed is the pep talks get shorter and easier the more I do it. So next time you feel yourself distracted and not in the present moment just focus on your breath and remind yourself that this moment right now is all you need to focus on. We may not be able to slow down time, but we can be more focused and present with the time we do have. 

Gentle and present

Being present…

Did you just hear a little voice in your head? Did I lose your attention for a second? Were you making a judgement about the empty space above? Well, I’m here you to tell you that’s okay. It is okay to acknowledge that little voice in your head. Just don’t always take its advice. It is okay to let your mind wander. Just gently bring it back to this moment. It’s okay to have and feel judgement. Just know it’s not always real or relevant. We are human and this is life. We are not perfect. Next time your mind wanders or that little voice in your head speaks up. Acknowledge it. Then choose what to do from there. However you choose to proceed, be gentle and present. 

Son

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As a father being a son has more meaning. I can now begin to grasp the attachment and the love my parents feel towards me. People say that your children will eventually blame you for something. For me this was true. I would blame my parents for my short comings and emotional stresses. My parents divorced when I was very young. I remember the arguments at night. Staying with my Dad every other weekend. This was very hard and confusing for me growing up. It really didn’t give me a chance to develop a strong bond with my father as a child. I also know it was hard on my father because I always missed and cried for my mom when I was without her. I could not even imagine not being able to see my child every single day. Now as an adult I know they did the best they could and they had their own issues to deal with as well as their children’s issues. They were carrying the similar titles and demands around with them just as I am today. Having these realizations later in life does not make it any easier. It just brings some clarity and compassion. Although it was and is a tough situation I would not change it. I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason. I feel I would not have waited until I was thirty and emotionally ready to marry the woman of my dreams. I may not have met my wife, although something tells me we would have been drawn together at some point in our lives. I possibly would not have my beautiful daughter. Thinking about all the things that had to go wrong for my life to go right really makes me emotional, humbled and appreciative. I am beginning to tear up as I type. Rather than ignore or fight these emotions. I am acknowledging them and appreciating them. Our emotions and feelings are what make us human. To me that is one of the keys to living a positive, meaningful and present life.

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