Although I may not always respond or acknowledge (I’m working on that as well as my communication skills) I truly appreciate and value every response. Whether it is a like or sharing some words. It’s not natural or always easy for me to share. I’ve lived as though I’ve had something to hide for most of my life. Some who have known me longer might say I was very quite or shy. Then through sharing, listening and being vulnerable I’ve learned that a lot of us have similar feelings even if the actual circumstances are different or unique. This has given me and fed the urge to share. With this sharing I do my best to be intentional with my words and with my feelings. I hope to never offend or upset. Rather inspire and promote thoughts or questions. As I said before… the older I get the more questions I have. I believe our lives and the way we live our lives as a society deserves thought and questioning. Not in a way of making wrong or causing hate and upset. But in a way of making conscience choices based on our current level of knowledge. For me the times where I grow is when I obtain or experience a different perspective. A way of looking at something through a different lens. I believe everyone’s perspective has value no matter how offensive, thoughtful or ignorant it may appear. We all have lived through valuable experiences that shaped this perspective. So rather than arguing or just agreeing I invite us all to listen and ask questions so we can better understand each other and grow together. Because honestly no matter what your race, color , religion or belief is. You should take a moment to consider how it is just a miracle and incredible we are all here at this same moment in time.
I’ve been really struggling lately with the realization that I won’t be home and able to spend as much time with my wife and daughter. For those who don’t know. We sold our home in CA and moved to AZ in July last year. This move was thought about for years but also there was a lot I never thought about. Since Charlotte was born 23 months ago I’ve been blessed with being able to be home the huge majority of the time. Something most fathers and some mothers do not have the luxury of experiencing. I’ve been present and able to create a unique bond with my family which has allowed us to grow and become closer. It makes me think about the impact this will have going forward. The impact on me is profound but I’m curious the impact on my daughter. Based on current situations I’m not sure the next child (when we decide to have one) will get the same time Charlotte received. It’s kinda like a real life experiment with real life results. I try not to project to far into the future but as I get older life seems to leave me with more questions than answers. I find myself questioning whether providing a certain lifestyle and certain luxuries are really going to matter. Or if my time/presence is more valuable than any object or lifestyle I could provide. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I’m not looking for sympathy as I know how fortunate I am just to be here. In my heart I believe my time/presence is more valuable than anything but I constantly struggle with the balance aspect. Where is that line… when and where should I cross it?
At times we may not see eye to eye. We all have had different experiences that have shaped our perspective. I believe everyone’s perspective is valuable. No matter how abrasive or pleasant it may seem. It’s in the listening, asking questions and understanding that we grow as humans. I myself struggle with this daily. My ego flares up and I get angry or just emotionally shut down. There is this need to be right and look as if we know exactly what we are doing at all times. I’m here to tell you it’s okay to not have a plan. It’s okay to not have it all together all the time. We are human beings living a life through the lens(perspective) of our hardships, our joys, our failures and our successes. That should never be discounted but it should be checked constantly by being open to others ideas and ways of seeing the world. Stop what you are doing and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let it all out. Now imagine you are free to share your perspective without fear of rejection. Imagine you can be open and unafraid of judgement while going through your life. What does that look like? How does it feel? To me it felt like connection, a sense of relief and peace. This isn’t a test and your are encouraged to feel however you feel. I invite you to hold onto that feeling and examine it. Maybe try that in other aspects of your life. Being human isn’t just about being here. It’s about thriving and enjoying this journey we call life. I don’t know nor do I speculate what’s after this life. That’s for everyone to create and decide for themselves. I just want to invite you to make it the best journey you possibly can. Whatever that truly means to you. -Jeffrey
We spent a few days up at the beautiful Lake Arrowhead, CA with some family. Even on vacation in an amazing place I find myself worrying about the past and the future. Not being present enjoying the gorgeous scenery and the time with my family. I don’t know about you, but I usually seem to get distracted and caught up in my thoughts about work, stuff I need to do or just silly unnecessary baloney. It really takes a pep talk with myself to snap out of it and realize that this moment right now is what I need to be focused on. The work. The stuff. The baloney. It will all be there waiting for me. Dwelling on them does nothing but create anxiety and an absence from the moments happening now. One thing I’ve noticed is the pep talks get shorter and easier the more I do it. So next time you feel yourself distracted and not in the present moment just focus on your breath and remind yourself that this moment right now is all you need to focus on. We may not be able to slow down time, but we can be more focused and present with the time we do have.
Guilt and vulnerability. Two words and feelings that usually do not go together. In my own life guilt has consumed me. It has ended relationships. It has hurt those that I love. Most of all it has hurt myself and shaped the way I interact with people daily. Guilt does not always mean that you have actually done something wrong or hurtful. For me guilt comes from not feeling adequate. Not being able to meet someone’s needs or wants. Not being able to relate or understand someone’s feelings. Guilt has many forms. I find when I come from a place of guilt I become more defensive and close minded. The guilt does not allow me to be vulnerable. When I am vulnerable I can get my feelings/point across in a respectful and positive manner. I can actually connect with people. When it comes from a place of guilt… look out!
There is a saying, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. My wife always laughs at me and wonders where the heck I learned all these old sayings. I guess I was just lucky enough to encounter some wise old souls in my lifetime.
Treating people with respect and being vulnerable really does create a positive interaction the majority of the time. We can disagree or have a different point of view without feeling guilty. We can still relate and connect even though we do not see eye to eye. There was a quote I found from The Huffington Post website from a blog written by Charlie Maffei. (I will post the link below at the end) The quote goes: “Being nice to nice people is great, but being nice to those who are not nice to you is how the world becomes better. We should not want to defeat or humiliate those we don’t agree with but to win their friendship and understanding.” I know from experience that it is not always easy. Some people have some outrageous point of views. But that is the beauty of being human. We all have a different experience of life and life’s little situations. We do not always have to agree with everything and everyone. But we should at least be open and vulnerable enough to listen and try to understand. We can simply take some thing positive or what works for us from a conversation or article. Then simply just let what you don’t agree with or understand go. I feel if we just tried to understand other people’s views rather than argue we would learn a lot more about them and ourselves. So I invite you to really listen and be vulnerable next time you have a conversation, read or watch something. You may not succeed every time and that is okay. It is about trying, being aware and recognizing what guilt and vulnerability mean to you.
I do not agree with or relate to everything in the article in the link above. But I did take away something positive and it was very enlightening to see a different point of view. Just as you may not agree with or relate to everything I write about. But my hope is that something you read or experience sparks you to find peace in your guilt and comfort in your vulnerability.
It has been about 3 years since my last post. Over the last 3 years I have accomplished a lot. I am set to be married to my fiancé of 6 years in about 26 days. I have grown a successful company after many years of struggle. With the help of my fiancé we purchased our first home which we fall in love with over and over every single day. We have traveled to many beautiful places and spent a lot of time with our loved ones.
After reading my above paragraph I look back and remember so many wonderful memories. Yet I still can’t help but feel stuck and in a way unfulfilled. It is like my spirit has been yurning for more or something different. Don’t get me wrong I am very happy with my current life, home and beautiful fiancé. The only way I can explain it is the feeling of something is missing. I find myself constantly saying”there has to be something more to this life”.
The last 3 years I believed I was taking time for myself and building a lasting legacy. When in reality I was stuffing my feelings deep down and doing whatever it took to succeed at the expense of everyone else around me. I have always been kind hearted and generous. Over the last few years I started to feel disconnected and alone. I had literally suppressed every emotion I had felt.Which led to issues in my personal life and business life.
About a month ago I was about to liquidate my company, sell all my possessions and disappear away from everyone I ever knew. The pressure of life and the pressure I put on myself had finally reached a breaking point. I found myself rude to people I cared about and I ran my company only in my best interest with out regard for others at times. Luckily I finally started listening and feeling some of my emotions. I had hidden my passion for spirituality and nature for fear of being different or unliked. Which in some cases only made me more unliked. I feel as human beings we have this urging connection with each other. As much as we try to fight it or be different from the rest, there is always a feeling deep down of unity and compassion.
I meet a lot of people daily who appear to have life all figured out and that are fearless. Once I actually connected and listened to people I started to realize the majority of us have the same concerns and fears. Whether you are a homeless person on the street or a multi millionaire with everything you could ever want. It becomes very apparent that we are all searching for something more.
I still have a long journey ahead of me and I will do my best to continue posting on this blog. Being open, vulnerable and acknowledging my emotions is not really my cup of tea. A few wise people have told me that sitting in that “uncomfortableness” not only helps you grow as a person, it also can lead to ideas and things you least expect.
Life is simple, when we get back to basics… We get back to life.
I have an idea. What would happen if I had a giveaway that did not require people to sign up, like or follow a blog. A giveaway with no strings attached. A giveaway just for the sake of giving. Well here we go…
I will donate $100.00 US to a charity or cause of your choice in your name (if the option is available). This will be limited to one person. All I ask from you is a brief explanation why or simply be yourself and send me something truly inspirational. This “giveaway” opportunity starts now and will last until Thursday July 4th 2013. Please no spam or soliciting. You do not need to follow, be a current follower, like anything or comment on anything to win. Just simply email what I have stated above. The winner will be mentioned in my blog and the winning email content will be published to my blog (your full name and email address will not be published unless requested). By sending me an email you are agreeing to these terms. No other company or website is affiliated with this giveaway or liable in anyway.