The circle of life…

We all seem to be going around in an infinite circle placing blame on each other for various things that we disagree on. I am trying on the idea that there are no facts, only our perspective based on our unique experiences and views. Just as I don’t want my rights taken away or things forced upon me during this covid era. I believe people and companies should have the freedom to put out whatever products they want and it is up to the consumer to choose. As hard as it is to know ingredients may be unhealthy and animals are being slaughtered it is simply my perspective that those things are wrong. My perspective is not a fact. I repeat… my perspective is not a fact. There are unlimited examples of this I could explore as everything I see and do is filtered through my unique perspective. Time to flip the script and consider the alternative perspective of others as they are their truths and valid no matter how uncomfortable. I really really really find that challenging but I also find it creates more mental freedom and peace. I switch the judging/anger to curiosity/understanding which allows for empathy and acknowledgement. I believe that getting angry and making people wrong only pushes us all deeper, blindly into our own perspective/truth. In my mind life is not just black and white. It is far more complex than we wish to know. Right and wrong feel like a simple solution to the majority of “problems” we see in the world. I invite you to consider the complications that adds to everyday life. Try on others perspectives to see how that feels. Maybe see how it feels to get in touch with your truth and the truth of those around you.

In my heart

I’ve been really struggling lately with the realization that I won’t be home and able to spend as much time with my wife and daughter. For those who don’t know. We sold our home in CA and moved to AZ in July last year. This move was thought about for years but also there was a lot I never thought about. Since Charlotte was born 23 months ago I’ve been blessed with being able to be home the huge majority of the time. Something most fathers and some mothers do not have the luxury of experiencing. I’ve been present and able to create a unique bond with my family which has allowed us to grow and become closer. It makes me think about the impact this will have going forward. The impact on me is profound but I’m curious the impact on my daughter. Based on current situations I’m not sure the next child (when we decide to have one) will get the same time Charlotte received. It’s kinda like a real life experiment with real life results. I try not to project to far into the future but as I get older life seems to leave me with more questions than answers. I find myself questioning whether providing a certain lifestyle and certain luxuries are really going to matter. Or if my time/presence is more valuable than any object or lifestyle I could provide. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I’m not looking for sympathy as I know how fortunate I am just to be here. In my heart I believe my time/presence is more valuable than anything but I constantly struggle with the balance aspect. Where is that line… when and where should I cross it?

Something Beautiful

It’s interesting to me how we grow to love people but with our children it’s instant. There isn’t a honeymoon phase or first impression. Just pure and utter love. There is something beautiful about it. It makes me think about love in my life. Whether it’s giving or receiving. I’ve always had a hard time telling people I loved them. It did not mean I did not, it was just uncomfortable for me to get the words out. But like anything the more you do it the easier it gets. Now I make sure to tell people I love them. I feel this unconditional instant love I felt for Charlotte has unlocked something inside me that was always there. It allowed me to be clear on what love is to me and where love is in my life. Which brings me back to… there is something beautiful about it.

Time

We spent a few days up at the beautiful Lake Arrowhead, CA with some family. Even on vacation in an amazing place I find myself worrying about the past and the future. Not being present enjoying the gorgeous scenery and the time with my family. I don’t know about you, but I usually seem to get distracted and caught up in my thoughts about work, stuff I need to do or just silly unnecessary baloney. It really takes a pep talk with myself to snap out of it and realize that this moment right now is what I need to be focused on. The work. The stuff. The baloney. It will all be there waiting for me. Dwelling on them does nothing but create anxiety and an absence from the moments happening now. One thing I’ve noticed is the pep talks get shorter and easier the more I do it. So next time you feel yourself distracted and not in the present moment just focus on your breath and remind yourself that this moment right now is all you need to focus on. We may not be able to slow down time, but we can be more focused and present with the time we do have. 

Gentle and present

Being present…

Did you just hear a little voice in your head? Did I lose your attention for a second? Were you making a judgement about the empty space above? Well, I’m here you to tell you that’s okay. It is okay to acknowledge that little voice in your head. Just don’t always take its advice. It is okay to let your mind wander. Just gently bring it back to this moment. It’s okay to have and feel judgement. Just know it’s not always real or relevant. We are human and this is life. We are not perfect. Next time your mind wanders or that little voice in your head speaks up. Acknowledge it. Then choose what to do from there. However you choose to proceed, be gentle and present.