What are we doing as people? Are we really listening to those around us? Do we even truly see someone who is right in front of us? Are things really what they seem? Work, social media, possessions and looking good among other things have consumed many of our lives. Maybe not 24/7 for some but I have felt, lived and observed our lives consumed by so many things portrayed/perceived as so important. In my perfect world there would be nothing more important than the person or people around you. And I’m not just talking about family. I’m talking about your neighbor. The person in line in front of you. Anyone who crosses your path. But again that’s my perfect world which I don’t always live in personally. I’ve caught myself rushing to work and seeing someone on the side of the road obviously needing help. But I don’t stop. I continue on with my day as if my being on time for work or whatever I’m doing is more important than simply taking the time to help or maybe just check on another human being. This used to make me angry. Now I just feel sad. In some aspects the disconnect grows and grows. Other times I’m truly amazed by the consecutiveness surrounding me. It’s not my place to judge or dictate how ones life is lived. But I do feel it is all of our duties as human beings to question ourselves as well as others. To really take stock of what’s going on within and around us. A sense of awareness coupled with connection. Life is a beautiful thing and we all get to choose what makes it beautiful. I invite us all to choose willingly, considerately and knowingly.
Below is something I wrote to my daughter before she was born. It felt strange writing it at first, but looking back I’m glad I did it. Even years ago while exploring my spiritual side I would talk to her and dream of her. It’s like she was waiting for her turn in life and had already chosen us as parents. We just needed to choose each other. The more I dive into my spirituality and honestly just life as I feel being here is a spiritual experience. The more I embrace the unknown. To me spirituality requires a lot of trust and letting go in the face of the unknown. Believing in something bigger and more powerful than ourselves. For me the word I use is Universe. I believe everything and everyone is connected creating a universal power within us all and everything around us.
Where do I begin…
I’ve always dreamt of having a little girl.
I feel like I have been waiting for you my whole life.
I knew the moment your mother and I connected she was something special.
Little did I know she would be the one to make all my dreams come true.
From the moment we started dating it felt like I had known her forever.
Even when times were tough,
something inside me knew she was the one I would love forever.
The best choice I have ever made will always be loving your mother.
I know in my heart that you will love her as much as I do. Maybe more.
If there is one thing you should know,
It is that as my heart continues to grow there is enough love for both of you.
I am excited to meet you and I will always be there whenever you both need me.
I have always wondered what my life’s purpose was. Now I know it is enjoying every moment I have with you and your mom.
The two of you make me a better human.
I love you.
Although I may not always respond or acknowledge (I’m working on that as well as my communication skills) I truly appreciate and value every response. Whether it is a like or sharing some words. It’s not natural or always easy for me to share. I’ve lived as though I’ve had something to hide for most of my life. Some who have known me longer might say I was very quite or shy. Then through sharing, listening and being vulnerable I’ve learned that a lot of us have similar feelings even if the actual circumstances are different or unique. This has given me and fed the urge to share. With this sharing I do my best to be intentional with my words and with my feelings. I hope to never offend or upset. Rather inspire and promote thoughts or questions. As I said before… the older I get the more questions I have. I believe our lives and the way we live our lives as a society deserves thought and questioning. Not in a way of making wrong or causing hate and upset. But in a way of making conscience choices based on our current level of knowledge. For me the times where I grow is when I obtain or experience a different perspective. A way of looking at something through a different lens. I believe everyone’s perspective has value no matter how offensive, thoughtful or ignorant it may appear. We all have lived through valuable experiences that shaped this perspective. So rather than arguing or just agreeing I invite us all to listen and ask questions so we can better understand each other and grow together. Because honestly no matter what your race, color , religion or belief is. You should take a moment to consider how it is just a miracle and incredible we are all here at this same moment in time.
It’s interesting to me how we grow to love people but with our children it’s instant. There isn’t a honeymoon phase or first impression. Just pure and utter love. There is something beautiful about it. It makes me think about love in my life. Whether it’s giving or receiving. I’ve always had a hard time telling people I loved them. It did not mean I did not, it was just uncomfortable for me to get the words out. But like anything the more you do it the easier it gets. Now I make sure to tell people I love them. I feel this unconditional instant love I felt for Charlotte has unlocked something inside me that was always there. It allowed me to be clear on what love is to me and where love is in my life. Which brings me back to… there is something beautiful about it.
“To understand everything is to forgive everything”
Let go of judgement. Whether it be judgement of others or judgement of yourself. We are all doing the very best we can with the current skills we have developed over our lifetime. It is very hard for me to write this because I am guilty of placing judgement on myself and others. It is easy to jump to conclusions and judge someone. It takes constant awareness to do the opposite and not take everything personally. We all have our moments of clarity, as well as our moments of blindness. All we can do is try our best to be our best self. We will make mistakes along the way, but that is how we learn and grow. Do not punish yourself for being yourself. Do not punish yourself for making a mistake. Love yourself for being you. Love yourself for who you are. This will sound corny and absolutely ridiculous, but i do this and so do many others. Look in a mirror or simply just say this aloud, ” I need some love today. I am loved. I am a good person. People around me love me. I love myself.” I recommend doing this in the privacy of your own home or when others are not around. Unless you do not mind being known as the person who talks to themself. What if this works? What if this helps you through your day? You will never know until you try. What is the risk? Being truly happy and loving yourself? That sounds more like a reward with absolutely no risk. How many times have you received a reward without taking a risk. Give it a chance, give yourself a chance. Give love a chance.