I’m uncovering that the only answers to life’s questions come from within ourselves.
There are plenty of experts who’s research leads us many different ways. It seems the best advice is to go inward and get in touch with your self. One must pick a path and follow it through because the best way I’ve found to learn and answer questions is through experience. We are all different in some aspect with different needs and abilities. Therefore I’ve come to the conclusion that we should be the only expert when it comes to our own lives or well being.
We all seem to be going around in an infinite circle placing blame on each other for various things that we disagree on. I am trying on the idea that there are no facts, only our perspective based on our unique experiences and views. Just as I don’t want my rights taken away or things forced upon me during this covid era. I believe people and companies should have the freedom to put out whatever products they want and it is up to the consumer to choose. As hard as it is to know ingredients may be unhealthy and animals are being slaughtered it is simply my perspective that those things are wrong. My perspective is not a fact. I repeat… my perspective is not a fact. There are unlimited examples of this I could explore as everything I see and do is filtered through my unique perspective. Time to flip the script and consider the alternative perspective of others as they are their truths and valid no matter how uncomfortable. I really really really find that challenging but I also find it creates more mental freedom and peace. I switch the judging/anger to curiosity/understanding which allows for empathy and acknowledgement. I believe that getting angry and making people wrong only pushes us all deeper, blindly into our own perspective/truth. In my mind life is not just black and white. It is far more complex than we wish to know. Right and wrong feel like a simple solution to the majority of “problems” we see in the world. I invite you to consider the complications that adds to everyday life. Try on others perspectives to see how that feels. Maybe see how it feels to get in touch with your truth and the truth of those around you.
I don’t think we will ever know if our response as a society was too much. I’m one to always proceed with caution. You know.. better safe than sorry. But this all just feels a bit much when you start to dig in. You hear reports of nurses being furloughed and hospitals emptying among other things. It’s hard to find the actual truth or facts these days if it even exists. It all seems to be a lot of opinion and personal perspective. My personal perspective leads me down this road. Look at the preventable deaths in this country each year. I’m not saying we shouldn’t take precautions with covid or that it’s not real. I’m just saying we may have overreacted and the staggering amount of preventable deaths from lifestyle/diet, accidental or suicide deserve some thought and more attention at the very least. Not to mention the mental toll this “social distancing” and “quarantine” will have. I don’t fear a virus. I fear us losing our freedom, ourselves and what matters most… our connection as humans and to the world around us. Life has risks, ups and downs and some roller coasters of emotions. But it was meant to be lived in full connection with love for each other and all forms of life. Step out of fear and face the present one moment at a time. It’s time to move forward.
I’ve been really struggling lately with the realization that I won’t be home and able to spend as much time with my wife and daughter. For those who don’t know. We sold our home in CA and moved to AZ in July last year. This move was thought about for years but also there was a lot I never thought about. Since Charlotte was born 23 months ago I’ve been blessed with being able to be home the huge majority of the time. Something most fathers and some mothers do not have the luxury of experiencing. I’ve been present and able to create a unique bond with my family which has allowed us to grow and become closer. It makes me think about the impact this will have going forward. The impact on me is profound but I’m curious the impact on my daughter. Based on current situations I’m not sure the next child (when we decide to have one) will get the same time Charlotte received. It’s kinda like a real life experiment with real life results. I try not to project to far into the future but as I get older life seems to leave me with more questions than answers. I find myself questioning whether providing a certain lifestyle and certain luxuries are really going to matter. Or if my time/presence is more valuable than any object or lifestyle I could provide. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I’m not looking for sympathy as I know how fortunate I am just to be here. In my heart I believe my time/presence is more valuable than anything but I constantly struggle with the balance aspect. Where is that line… when and where should I cross it?
I always dreamt of having a little girl. Holding her, loving her and raising her. What I did not expect was the profound love I would receive in return. This girl is a lover of all things. Whether you are a person , animal or tree. She gently touches and smells the flowers as she walks by. She gently pets our dog Ziggy and says good boy. She says hello and lovingly touches the trees she encounters. She wraps her arms around your neck squeezing tight and says I love you. She is so deeply and thoughtfully connected with her surroundings. Sometimes I feel as if I’m the one being raised and she is the one to look up to. Her kindness and genuine love constantly remind me of what is true and what is valuable in life. That is just one of the many things my daughter taught me.
Being a father is a title I am proud to have. Being a parent in general is truly a blessing. I was recently talking to my wife about how in most relationship you grow to love a person over time. The more experiences and time we share the closer our bond. When it comes to our children the love and bond is instantly there. It is a feeling you can’t quite explain. Maybe because it is so many feelings all at once. For me I experience love, joy, fear and worry daily. The love and joy I have come to know well and rarely acknowledge because those emotions are comfortable for me. The fear and worry are on a whole other level. I try my best to avoid and dismiss these feelings. Lately I have tried a different approach. I allow the fear and worry to be present and I allow myself to be present. Then I ask myself why I am feeling this way and is it truly what’s happening or going to happen. 99% of the time I am just projecting or creating a vivid story in my head. This has been truly life changing, being present and soaking up every moment I can with my daughter really amplifies the joy and love in my life. Next time some uncomfortable feelings come your way try acknowledging them and asking yourself why. You do not have to like these feelings but they are there and they will pass. They just pass easier when we remain present and acknowledge them.
It is all about mind, body and spirit. Expand your mind. Take care of your body. Embrace your spirit. Try to find things that bring you true peace. Bring you good health. Bring you pure joy. If you can find something that brings you all three at once…that is what I call euphoric bliss.