Husband

0003_Couples

Getting married is a huge life event and big commitment. Not only is it a big commitment, it is a choice. No matter what denomination you believe in you make a commitment and a choice during the ceremony. Here is a bit of a different outlook. Here we are newly married. We are now legally bound together. We are now committed to each other. I personally looked at marriage as nothing more than a contract signing followed by a party. Everyone is just there for the free drinks and food, right? I thought it was nothing more than another step in my life. It took me some time but I realized it was more than just a commitment or a step forward in life. It was a choice. We chose to marry each other and we choose to stay married every day. We did sign some documents and have a big party afterwards. But it was different and so much more than just a life event. We were surrounded by our closest friends and family who had been there through the ups and downs of our relationship to this point. It was really a special day. A day that changed the way I saw things forever. Although I am very committed to my marriage and love my wife deeply. Commitment always and still sounds like a choice mixed with an obligation to me. I choose my wife. By choosing her as my life partner I feel it takes us deeper than commitment. Deeper than legal documents. Deeper then love. I believe a marriage as well as all relationships are like a recipe. It takes a lot of little things added up to make a beautiful dish. The same is true for relationships. Although every recipe isn’t the same for everyone, I do believe it takes more than love and commitment to make a relationship last and thrive. Some days may be easier to make that choice than others. For me, even when times get tough I remember we are only human and that I am responsible for my own happiness. Probably most of my own sadness as well. If I can offer any advice, it is when times get tough just think back to why you chose and continue to choose this person.  Also take responsibility for your own feelings. Only you have the power to make yourself feel sadness or happiness. Do not blame each other, work together because you are a team with a common goal. What is that goal for you?

0042_Ceremony

 

Catching Flies

Guilt and vulnerability. Two words and feelings that usually do not go together. In my own life guilt has consumed me. It has ended relationships. It has hurt those that I love. Most of all it has hurt myself and shaped the way I interact with people daily. Guilt does not always mean that you have actually done something wrong or hurtful. For me guilt comes from not feeling adequate. Not being able to meet someone’s needs or wants. Not being able to relate or understand someone’s feelings. Guilt has many forms. I find when I come from a place of guilt I become more defensive and close minded. The guilt does not allow me to be vulnerable. When I am vulnerable I can get my feelings/point across in a respectful and positive manner. I can actually connect with people. When it comes from a place of guilt… look out!

There is a saying, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. My wife always laughs at me and wonders where the heck I learned all these old sayings. I guess I was just lucky enough to encounter some wise old souls in my lifetime.

Treating people with respect and being vulnerable really does create a positive interaction the majority of the time. We can disagree or have a different point of view without feeling guilty. We can still relate and connect even though we do not see eye to eye. There was a quote I found from The Huffington Post website from a blog written by Charlie Maffei. (I will post the link below at the end) The quote goes: “Being nice to nice people is great, but being nice to those who are not nice to you is how the world becomes better. We should not want to defeat or humiliate those we don’t agree with but to win their friendship and understanding.”      I know from experience that it is not always easy. Some people have some outrageous point of views. But that is the beauty of being human. We all have a different experience of life and life’s little situations. We do not always have to agree with everything and everyone. But we should at least be open and vulnerable enough to listen and try to understand. We can simply take some thing positive or what works for us from a conversation or article. Then simply just let what you don’t agree with or understand go. I feel if we just tried to understand other people’s views rather than argue we would learn a lot more about them and ourselves. So I invite you to really listen and be vulnerable next time you have a conversation, read or watch something. You may not succeed every time and that is okay. It is about trying, being aware and recognizing what guilt and vulnerability mean to you.

Here is the link to the Huffington Post article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charlie-maffei/you-can-catch-more-flies-_b_1676353.html

I do not agree with or relate to everything in the article in the link above. But I did take away something positive and it was very enlightening to see a different point of view. Just as you may not agree with or relate to everything I write about. But my hope is that something you read or experience sparks you to find peace in your guilt and comfort in your vulnerability.

-Jeff

IMG_0568
Once in a blue moon

 

Inspiration

Below are some wonderful words. Inspiration comes from many things. Mine happens to come from the ones I love most. Where does your inspiration come from? Remind yourself daily 🙂 Enjoy!

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
~Maya Angelou

20130221-191452.jpg

what dreams are made of…

I would like to share some inspirational/ uplifting words from a website called http://www.lightworkers.org that my wonderful mother shared with me.
It really explains and captures all these crazy emotions/feelings we all have been having. Do the work and hold on because what comes next is what dreams are made of.

All Aboard Ship 2013 – No Baggage Allowed

The energy excavation bulldozers have moved in and they mean business! They are going deep down into the depths of our being to clear out any remaining stubborn, emotional gravel. You may be experiencing this as extreme heaviness, then extreme resistance, extreme anger, extreme irritability, extreme impatience, extreme frustration, extreme oh aha lightbulb moment, extreme giddy joy, extreme happiness, extreme gratitude, extreme higher perspective wisdom, followed by oh no more extreme heaviness etc etc. It’s all happening, and it’s happening in no particular order of one emotion running into the other. All you know is that it’s happening, it’s unpredictable, the jackhammer hasn’t stopped drilling in days (weeks? all year?) and you wish it would shoosh up already!! But bless Jack the jackhammer because he is under special orders from the future You that exists in 2013 and beyond: To You and all you know, it’s All Aboard Ship 2013 – No Baggage Allowed.
Whenever we do any major renovation overhaul whether it’s cleaning the garage or demolishing a building, there is always plenty of dust and mess involved. Well so too we are all undergoing our renovation overhauls and likewise we are standing in the midst of plenty of our own dust and mess right now. Actually it’s not all dust and mess, it’s more “Oh wow so much dust, big broom sweep, ooooh ooooh super clear super clean, I see myself clearly now, and boy do I see others clearly, oh I think I’m done shift..oh no, oh no, more dust, oh really? Father stuff again? Really? Really? Okay chat to inner child, polish the mirror, okay that’s better, clear again, wooooh, I’m home freeee….what’s that? Inner feminine wants a word? She has needs? Oh man….sorry, I mean, Oh woman!”
Yep it’s all coming out now, thick and fast. Ready or not. In fact, so thick is this dust and mess and clearing process right now that we are alternating between not being able to see outside ourselves very clearly at all, or anything we do see is being seen through the filter of our dust and mess, and on the other hand seeing others so clearly we feel like they are literally see-through. Then again, we could be seeing them via our dust and mess filter, so we can’t be sure if we’re really seeing them or seeing ourselves through them. It’s all starting to feel like a big dream where we wake up and say “Hey I dreamt there were all these people around me, but then their faces started changing, and I looked around, and everyone was me!.” Strange dream huh…
In this dream that’s actually your life, and in this life that’s actually your dream, (dizzy yet? A LOT of people are with you if you are…literally dizzy that is), your emotions are being triggered and heightened like crazy and you may find yourself responding in a really over the top way to people and situations around you. They may not even be doing anything, but you feel they’re doing something. You think they’re doing something. Or not doing something. Or not doing enough. Either way, it’s really annoying you. If you’re having a good day, you may have stopped yourself before letting them have it, and taken a step back to ask yourself hmmm, what’s really going on here? What you’ll find is that ‘they’ may as well not even exist because really your issue is not with them, it is with yourself. And yourself has taken a trip back from the future to trigger you via someone else not acting how you think they should, or some situation not unfolding as you’d hoped it would, to get you to look at something that needs transforming asap prior to boarding the good ship 2013.
You’ll probably find that it’s an old belief or myth you’ve held about yourself or reality that is not only no longer serving you, it is not compatible with where you’re going and it goes under the ‘no baggage allowed’ category. Just to clarify, when I say we’re all going somewhere and boarding a good ship, I’m not talking about being saved by people from other planets or ascending up into the sky. I’m talking about our vibrational move, our perspective shift, our emotional/spiritual graduation into our next phase of evolution. We’re all aboard the good ship Earth and it’s with her that we’re going wherever we’re going as a transformed humanity. Doubting transformation at this point? Well the thing is, Earth is shifting into a higher vibration, and we all have to shift with her. She’s not really asking us if we’re done with the old reality yet. We’re all along for the ride ready or not!
It is time to stand strong by the reality you know in your heart and cells to be true, for example I am loved, I am always supported, I do receive all that I need, good things are happening, and when you hear that pesky little voice trying to convince you otherwise it is a matter of strength and belief in some greater you to say to the doubting you, “I don’t believe you anymore.” It’s not easy and at first you probably don’t even feel like you really believe that you don’t believe in your doubting self anymore. It’s a daily practice, that becomes habit, that gradually shifts how you feel, that translates into actions, that influences what you attract and how you perceive what you attract, and eventually you find that you do believe it. And as we all know we see what we believe.
That has never been more true than it is now, and that truth is increasing in strength by the day – hence why Jack the jackhammer is being so diligent in his job. As the content of our energy bodies increases in vibration, it increases its ability to be felt by us, and to manifest in our lives as the physical equivalent. So you want to be conscious and aware of the content of your energy bodies, and you want to clear out anything that no longer belongs there. The energy excavation bulldozers are making it easy for us. As challenging as it is to be facing in your face inescapable emotions and situations, it is far more challenging to have to dig for years in the dark to try and work out what your issues might be – as many of us know who spent years digging. The quicker you acknowledge whatever it is they are so obviously shovelling in front of you, the quicker they will move on and leave you with a new clear you.

By Dana Mrkich

Link To Article