Time

We spent a few days up at the beautiful Lake Arrowhead, CA with some family. Even on vacation in an amazing place I find myself worrying about the past and the future. Not being present enjoying the gorgeous scenery and the time with my family. I don’t know about you, but I usually seem to get distracted and caught up in my thoughts about work, stuff I need to do or just silly unnecessary baloney. It really takes a pep talk with myself to snap out of it and realize that this moment right now is what I need to be focused on. The work. The stuff. The baloney. It will all be there waiting for me. Dwelling on them does nothing but create anxiety and an absence from the moments happening now. One thing I’ve noticed is the pep talks get shorter and easier the more I do it. So next time you feel yourself distracted and not in the present moment just focus on your breath and remind yourself that this moment right now is all you need to focus on. We may not be able to slow down time, but we can be more focused and present with the time we do have. 

Gentle and present

Being present…

Did you just hear a little voice in your head? Did I lose your attention for a second? Were you making a judgement about the empty space above? Well, I’m here you to tell you that’s okay. It is okay to acknowledge that little voice in your head. Just don’t always take its advice. It is okay to let your mind wander. Just gently bring it back to this moment. It’s okay to have and feel judgement. Just know it’s not always real or relevant. We are human and this is life. We are not perfect. Next time your mind wanders or that little voice in your head speaks up. Acknowledge it. Then choose what to do from there. However you choose to proceed, be gentle and present. 

Son

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As a father being a son has more meaning. I can now begin to grasp the attachment and the love my parents feel towards me. People say that your children will eventually blame you for something. For me this was true. I would blame my parents for my short comings and emotional stresses. My parents divorced when I was very young. I remember the arguments at night. Staying with my Dad every other weekend. This was very hard and confusing for me growing up. It really didn’t give me a chance to develop a strong bond with my father as a child. I also know it was hard on my father because I always missed and cried for my mom when I was without her. I could not even imagine not being able to see my child every single day. Now as an adult I know they did the best they could and they had their own issues to deal with as well as their children’s issues. They were carrying the similar titles and demands around with them just as I am today. Having these realizations later in life does not make it any easier. It just brings some clarity and compassion. Although it was and is a tough situation I would not change it. I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason. I feel I would not have waited until I was thirty and emotionally ready to marry the woman of my dreams. I may not have met my wife, although something tells me we would have been drawn together at some point in our lives. I possibly would not have my beautiful daughter. Thinking about all the things that had to go wrong for my life to go right really makes me emotional, humbled and appreciative. I am beginning to tear up as I type. Rather than ignore or fight these emotions. I am acknowledging them and appreciating them. Our emotions and feelings are what make us human. To me that is one of the keys to living a positive, meaningful and present life.

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Father

Being a father is a title I am proud to have. Being a parent in general is truly a blessing. I was recently talking to my wife about how in most relationship you grow to love a person over time. The more experiences and time we share the closer our bond. When it comes to our children the love and bond is instantly there. It is a feeling you can’t quite explain. Maybe because it is so many feelings all at once. For me I experience love, joy, fear and worry daily. The love and joy I have come to know well and rarely acknowledge because those emotions are comfortable for me. The fear and worry are on a whole other level. I try my best to avoid and dismiss these feelings. Lately I have tried a different approach. I allow the fear and worry to be present and I allow myself to be present. Then I ask myself why I am feeling this way and is it truly what’s happening or going to happen. 99% of the time I am just projecting or creating a vivid story in my head. This has been truly life changing, being present and soaking up every moment I can with my daughter really amplifies the joy and love in my life. Next time some uncomfortable feelings come your way try acknowledging them and asking yourself why. You do not have to like these feelings but they are there and they will pass. They just pass easier when we remain present and acknowledge them.

Husband

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Getting married is a huge life event and big commitment. Not only is it a big commitment, it is a choice. No matter what denomination you believe in you make a commitment and a choice during the ceremony. Here is a bit of a different outlook. Here we are newly married. We are now legally bound together. We are now committed to each other. I personally looked at marriage as nothing more than a contract signing followed by a party. Everyone is just there for the free drinks and food, right? I thought it was nothing more than another step in my life. It took me some time but I realized it was more than just a commitment or a step forward in life. It was a choice. We chose to marry each other and we choose to stay married every day. We did sign some documents and have a big party afterwards. But it was different and so much more than just a life event. We were surrounded by our closest friends and family who had been there through the ups and downs of our relationship to this point. It was really a special day. A day that changed the way I saw things forever. Although I am very committed to my marriage and love my wife deeply. Commitment always and still sounds like a choice mixed with an obligation to me. I choose my wife. By choosing her as my life partner I feel it takes us deeper than commitment. Deeper than legal documents. Deeper then love. I believe a marriage as well as all relationships are like a recipe. It takes a lot of little things added up to make a beautiful dish. The same is true for relationships. Although every recipe isn’t the same for everyone, I do believe it takes more than love and commitment to make a relationship last and thrive. Some days may be easier to make that choice than others. For me, even when times get tough I remember we are only human and that I am responsible for my own happiness. Probably most of my own sadness as well. If I can offer any advice, it is when times get tough just think back to why you chose and continue to choose this person.  Also take responsibility for your own feelings. Only you have the power to make yourself feel sadness or happiness. Do not blame each other, work together because you are a team with a common goal. What is that goal for you?

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Reach You

The link below is a quick and powerful read. Read it at least twice or as many times as your heart and soul desires. Then find its meaning to you. We are all different and things reach us differently.

It does not matter how or when things reach you, as long as they teach you.

Here is a link to some great words on lightworkers.org.
http://lightworkers.org/channeling/182380/share-your-gifts

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