Catching Flies

Guilt and vulnerability. Two words and feelings that usually do not go together. In my own life guilt has consumed me. It has ended relationships. It has hurt those that I love. Most of all it has hurt myself and shaped the way I interact with people daily. Guilt does not always mean that you have actually done something wrong or hurtful. For me guilt comes from not feeling adequate. Not being able to meet someone’s needs or wants. Not being able to relate or understand someone’s feelings. Guilt has many forms. I find when I come from a place of guilt I become more defensive and close minded. The guilt does not allow me to be vulnerable. When I am vulnerable I can get my feelings/point across in a respectful and positive manner. I can actually connect with people. When it comes from a place of guilt… look out!

There is a saying, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. My wife always laughs at me and wonders where the heck I learned all these old sayings. I guess I was just lucky enough to encounter some wise old souls in my lifetime.

Treating people with respect and being vulnerable really does create a positive interaction the majority of the time. We can disagree or have a different point of view without feeling guilty. We can still relate and connect even though we do not see eye to eye. There was a quote I found from The Huffington Post website from a blog written by Charlie Maffei. (I will post the link below at the end) The quote goes: “Being nice to nice people is great, but being nice to those who are not nice to you is how the world becomes better. We should not want to defeat or humiliate those we don’t agree with but to win their friendship and understanding.”      I know from experience that it is not always easy. Some people have some outrageous point of views. But that is the beauty of being human. We all have a different experience of life and life’s little situations. We do not always have to agree with everything and everyone. But we should at least be open and vulnerable enough to listen and try to understand. We can simply take some thing positive or what works for us from a conversation or article. Then simply just let what you don’t agree with or understand go. I feel if we just tried to understand other people’s views rather than argue we would learn a lot more about them and ourselves. So I invite you to really listen and be vulnerable next time you have a conversation, read or watch something. You may not succeed every time and that is okay. It is about trying, being aware and recognizing what guilt and vulnerability mean to you.

Here is the link to the Huffington Post article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charlie-maffei/you-can-catch-more-flies-_b_1676353.html

I do not agree with or relate to everything in the article in the link above. But I did take away something positive and it was very enlightening to see a different point of view. Just as you may not agree with or relate to everything I write about. But my hope is that something you read or experience sparks you to find peace in your guilt and comfort in your vulnerability.

-Jeff

IMG_0568
Once in a blue moon

 

Call off the search

So I have been going through life searching for the next best way to change myself into a better person. I have been to numerous therapy sessions and spent many late nights reading self help/motivational books. The reason I started this blog was to help myself. Recently I became aware of an amazing fact. I am complete, whole and amazing just the way I am. Some of you may already see where I’m going with this. 🙂 For those of you who do not let me explain. I recently attend the Landmark Forum. I must say I was shocked to find that not only did I get everything I intended to get out of it, I really got so much more. I walked into that place terrified of life and wanted to work on being more decisive and confident in my decisions. Through the amazing forum leaders, my peers and the pure genius format of the forum I uncovered a fictional story I had been holding onto for 27 years. I always had a feeling of never being good enough. So I blamed my father for these feelings. In realizing this was simply a story I had developed over 27 years I now created the possibility for myself to have a loving and close father son relationship. Because my dad is who his and he is an amazing dad. He wore the hat of being the bad guy for 27 years and still was there to support and love me. That realization is truly priceless to me. I also walked into that place not validating my feelings which in turn led me not to validate others feelings. I realized that wether your problems are big or small. They are still a problem and important. I always had the tough guy “suck it up” mentality. I had that mentality because I did not value myself enough so how could I truly value others. Again to me that is priceless. I have created the possibility for myself to have more meaningful relationships not only with loved ones but perfect strangers and have a better understanding of people in general. I could go on and on for days about the amazing time I had at the Landmark Forum. If you feel something is missing from your life. If you feel your relationships with others are missing something. Even if you feel you deal with life amazingly I could not encourage you to attend the Landmark Forum enough. It truly has transformed my life in ways I never thought possible.
If you would like more information about all this feel free to email me personally:
trustyourselfblog.com@gmail.com

Or go to their website:
Landmark

I invite you to really take a look and sign up as soon as you can because I honestly care about you as person. I know this is changing world one person at a time. We are all in this together and we are all the same.

20130819-095936.jpg

Who are you?

Always be true to yourself. If others choose to judge, you can simply choose to be you. There is nothing wrong with being you. There is nothing wrong with doing positive things that make you happy. Let go of the fear of not fitting in. The boat needs to be rocked every once in awhile. Maybe the people judging will start following. Maybe by just being the wonderful you, some one else will have the courage to do the same. Set the tone… Be the example… Change a life… Create a better world.

20130626-181028.jpg

Stay Strong. Stay Positive.

Life does not have to be so hard or dark. Let the light into your life through positivity. Stay strong. Stay positive. Everything will work out. You are never alone.

I received this in an email and wanted to share. Read below.

How To Be Positive About Everything
By Jafree Ozwald
http://www.EnlightenedBeings.com

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” ~Albert Schweitzer

When you are positive about everything in your life, something magical happens. Everything good seems to effortlessly flow your way, your desires effortless manifest, and people just love hanging around you. People in your presence smile and laugh more, which makes you feel even better inside about being alive. Being positive is more important than you think. It’s the foundation of your very survival. If you could only think a stream of negative thoughts for the next few weeks, you might start believing suicide is the only viable option. Once you learn how to find the good within the bad, you’ll easily manifest a continual flow of success wherever you go.

Life contains both polarities of nature, the deep and dark as well as the light bright, and everything between the two. The dark always contains the light, and the light always contains the dark. Just like the eastern Yin-Yang symbol. They co-exist as complementary energies that cannot exist separately. This melting light/dark energy is found in the fabric and matrix of every atom in our Universe. When you remember this, you’ll know that somewhere inside the negative you can find a seed of something positive. You just have to get out your microscope and look more closely at the situation with a creative mind and an open heart.

The greatest advice I’ve ever received for being unstoppably positive about life is the thought that “anything is possible”. This one little concept has allowed my mind to continuously open, even after it became momentarily closed. Believe it or not, it is possible to be positive about everything that happens to you in life. There is always something to be learned from each situation, person and circumstance no matter how challenging it may be. Being consistently positive is simply a choice that you make in each moment. It’s a creative choice where you decide that you are 100% devoted to finding some possible way to enjoy this experience. Finding positivity in everything stems FROM believing in the impossible. You start realizing that you’re living in an infinite Universe that has no boundary to it, thus there is no boundary to your mind or imagination. How would you view your life differently this week if you knew without a doubt that anything and everything was possible?

20121003-105902.jpg